Monday, June 15, 2009

And so, it's come to this

Michael goes into surgery tomorrow afternoon. When he was first diagnosed with cancer back in February, the surgery seemed like an eternity away, but here it is, right on top of us. And with all the anxiety and tension and fear over these last few weeks and especially the last few days, there has come a point of surrender. I have to believe that he's going to be okay, I just have to believe that.

Today was a busy day. I got up this morning and suddenly it seemed like there were a thousand things I had to get done today (I'm sure I created this giant to-do list in order to not lose my mind today). Michael spent a good chunk of the day at the hospital pre-registering and having all his pre-op bloodwork and labs done. He bought a stuffed animal for each of our kids, and with great seriousness sat each of them down and gave them their stuffed animal, telling them that he needs them to take care of them while he's in the hospital. Kevin, of course, understands the gravity of the situation better than the other kids, although he doesn't at all seem worried or upset. I guess I should be happy about that. Joey, who has been having a tough time with all of this for a while, seems okay now with knowing that Dad is going into the hospital for an operation. The twins know he's going, but I really don't think they have a grasp of it, which is probably better for them. And Lilah and Finn . . . eh. Too young to get it at all.

Audrey, my sister-in-law is coming to stay with the kids tomorrow. One of the biggest things I've been stressing out about is what to do with Finn. He's still nursing and won't take a bottle and hasn't figured out a cup yet, so I really can't be away from him for more than a few hours, and I've been very torn over whether to take him with us to the hospital or leave him at home. It seems like the best thing to do will be to leave him at home (especially since he seems to be coming down with a cold), so the plan is that I will stay with Michael until they take him back for surgery. His surgery is expected to take 2 - 3 hours, so I will come home during that time, get dinner for the kids, put Finn to bed, and go back to the hospital in the evening. Not ideal, but seems like the best I can do. I know Michael wants me to stay at the hospital while he's in surgery, but he also understands that we have a nursing baby. I feel bad about this, but I'm not so sure that taking Finn with me and having him cooped up in a stroller or the Ergo for several hours would be a better way to go.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Thank you to everyone who has called and emailed today. Knowing that you're all pulling for Michael and keeping a good thought for us means the world to me and to us. I will post updates here when I can.

24 comments:

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

Good luck tomorrow Lisa. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Michael. All my best to you both and to the kids.

Cheryl said...

Michael and the stuffed animals for each of your children is the mark of an incredible human being and dad. Hang tough Lisa. He can do this. You can do this. I will be watching for your post of good news.

Darla said...

I am always telling my husband about you and Michael. You are in both of our thoughts and prayers.

We also have faith that Michael will be ok and we wish you enough help during his recovery period.

May they remove ALL of the tumor bringing this to a happy ending for you.

Taryl said...

Oh Lisa, I'm thinking of you all tomorrow! I truly hope this is the peak of your stress and that Michael has a smooth ride to a clean bill of health from here.

Leigh Anne said...

as always, but more for tomorrow (today), you & michael and the kids are in my thoughts.

Julie said...

Thinking of Michael and of you tomorrow.

Karly said...

Thinking so very many good thoughts for you guys today. {hugs} Lisa. You are even stronger than you can possibly imagine.

Laurie said...

Thinking of you all today, Lisa. Hang in there, my friend.
((Hugs))

Alisa said...

I'll be thinking of your family today, Lisa, and looking forward to good news.

Eternal Lizdom said...

My thoughts are with you... and Michael... and the kids. And while it might not mean the same things to you, my prayers are with all of you, with the medical team, with the recovery team... peace, hope, understanding.

Anonymous said...

I'm here Lisa, keeping you both in my thoughts today. Hugs.
Asha.

Wendy P said...

I'm thinking about y'all today. Hang in there and update us when you can.

Anonymous said...

Keeping good thoughts for all of you guys…

JN

Lisa said...

Thinking of you all today & sending wishes for a successful surgery and quick recovery!

Alex and Kristi said...

Sending good wishes your way today for both you, Michael and your family! Please keep us posted!!

livinglifeafter65 said...

So the time has finally come. I pray for Michael, the surgeons, and the results to be something they can work with to destroy.

I pray for help for you in this stressful time. I know you have readers who would gladly come help with the kids were we closer. And may I add - I think the stuffed animal/toy was an ingenious idea.

Chrystal said...

I'm believing right along with you that he's going to be ok.

Jen said...

I'm late in coming to this, but please know my thoughts are with you and Michael right now. And your kids. I'll be looking for updated news...you will all get through this. Just take it a minute at a time.

Kim said...

Thinking of you and Micheal today, Lisa. I hope the surgery is a success and his recovery is quick.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to be so late to this Lisa as I imagine you are already at the hospital. You,the kids and especially Michael are all in my thoughts today. Will be checking for updates when you can. (((HUGS)))

Alyson from PO

Maureen said...

I can only imagine how you feel right now. I hope all goes well and Michael makes a full recovery very soon.

*K* said...

Hope everything is going well, Lisa. Michael seems incredibly strong, and he has a tough cookie fighting for him too, so I'm sure all will be fine.

Brandie said...

Hey Lisa, we're thinking of you here!

Monica Crumley said...

Prayers are coming your way and I hope to hear the surgery went well today. RE: Finn, I know how tough it is taking care of a little one who's nursing and won't take a bottle or cup. Hang in there!