Phobiamania

Let me start off by saying that I am in a very bad mood. I am running on empty after yet another night of very little sleep. Lilah was up SIX times last night, and Finn just no longer seems very interested in sleeping at night.

Some friends had organized a play date at the park and I decided to take the kids (as in, all six of them, as there is no school today) and head over. The morning did not go well. I was already in a foul mood from lack of sleep, and the kids seemed to have their whining in high gear. It was an ordeal just getting everyone out the door.

So we get to the park and right away, DOGS. Daisy starts screaming and crying hysterically, like she does. I am already thinking we should just turn right around and head back home because I just can't deal with this today. But the boys see their friends and run off, and I'm stuck there. I'll spare the play-by-play, but suffice to say that we were there for an hour, and Daisy was hysterical THE. ENTIRE. TIME. I mean, screaming, crying, snot and drool running down her face, trembling, on the verge of throwing up/passing out hysterical.

If one more well-meaning person says something to me along the lines of "This is what she needs, to see that the dog isn't going to hurt her," I swear to god I will start screaming hysterically myself. I know people mean well. I know people don't realize the extent of this issue. But let me set the record straight: Daisy encounters dogs ALL THE TIME. Like, daily. We walk to and from school to pick Joey up, and not a day goes by that we don't encounter dogs on the walk there, on the walk back, and on the school grounds (which is a whole other issue - people insisting on bringing their dogs to school even though there is a city ordinance prohibiting dogs on school grounds, and a totally wishy-washy, ineffective principal who can't seem to keep this ordinance enforced on his school grounds). We encounter dogs every single time we go to the park. This is NOT a matter of Daisy just not having enough exposure to dogs. This has been an issue for over TWO YEARS, and despite all the constant exposure she has to dogs, the problem has, if anything, gotten worse.

One friend actually said to me today, "Have you ever considered having her see a doctor about this?" Okay, first off, wow, I just can't imagine saying something like that to someone. Secondly, yes, we have. We've talked to our pediatrician. We've talked to the school psychologist. Both are of the opinion that we should just downplay it all when she gets like that and in time, as she matures, she will learn how to cope better, even if she never outgrows the actual fear. Honestly, I resent the hell out people assuming that we're just not dealing with this issue. We are dealing with it. I can do without the unsolicited advice. I know people mean well, but these comments only raise my stress level over the whole thing.

As for Daisy, I am having a really, really tough time being patient with her about her fears. I know that I should be able to reach deep inside myself and find some well of compassion, but I think with the hundreds of hysterical episodes like this that we've had to deal with with her, that well has run dry. So I find myself losing my temper with her instead of comforting her, which I'm sure doesn't help matters.

And honestly, I am sick to death of . . . people . . . stubbornly insisting that their dogs belong in any and every place that people belong. I know that dogs are allowed at parks, but holy shit, if you see a hysterical kid who is clearly terrified of your dog, yield to the child's right to be there. After all, the effing playground was built for kids - not dogs.