The Holiday Spirit

I'm just not feeling it. In fact, I can't remember the last time I felt it. Maybe it's the lack of religious affiliation? Or the lack of snow? Or the lack of extended family? I don't know. All I do know is that this time of year is usually not a time when I'm reveling in the goodwill of mankind, but rather, feeling pressured and stressed about getting gifts for my kids that I think they'll enjoy and wondering how the hell we're going to pay for it all when Christmas comes right on the heels of paying an insane property tax bill.

We finally got a (real) Christmas tree yesterday - four freaking days before Christmas. It's sitting in the middle of our "music room" (deemed that by the previous owners who made their piano the centerpiece of the small room, so we followed suit) in front of the bay window. However, it has yet to be decorated. I did no baking this year (unless you count the premade refrigerated dough I used to make sugar cookies with the kids last week). I haven't done baking in years. There was a time when I would spend a week making dozens and dozens of fancy holiday cookies and treats, but who has the time anymore? I finally have all my gifts bought and started the process of wrapping them last night, but I have a long way to go on that. I have not watched It's a Wonderful Life, something I like to do this time every year to remind myself how wonderful life is (plus, isn't Jimmy Stewart incredibly handsome??). My kids haven't watched a single holiday movie - no Charlie Brown Christmas, no Rudolph or Frosty. What's wrong with me? When Michael brought the kids' stockings up last night along with the tree ornaments, I actually felt frustrated because I failed to get any stocking stuffers this year and was therefore planning to skip the stockings and hope nobody noticed, but now the kids have seen their stockings and the expectations are there. Ugh. I haven't gone to the market to get all the trappings for our traditional big Christmas morning breakfast and fondue dinner - and if I don't get to the store somehow today or tomorrow (with 6 kids home on winter break), I'll fail on that count too.

Happy freaking holidays. I can't wait until it's all over.