Wuv, TWUE wuv . . .

Quick, where's that from? First person to correctly identify that phrase wins . . . err, my admiration :)

Anyway, speaking of wuv . . . albeit not twue wuv, but rather puppy wuv, I think I can safely say that Kevin is dealing with his first case of it.

At a district-wide concert last Friday evening in which choir and band members from all the area middle schools performed, we met, face to face, for the first time . . . duh duh DUH . . . "N" of email infamy. We were leaving after the show, descending the steps outside, when I saw a young girl out of the corner of my eye elbow her friend theatrically and gesture towards Kevin. I knew in that split second that it was the woman who would steal my son away the girl who seems to have taken a liking to my boy. I turned around, and there was C, who we know, as I've mentioned, and I said hi to both girls. I introduced myself to N, and shook her hand. I'll just say that visually, she was not at all what I was expecting. She was very friendly and by all appearances a perfectly nice kid. Sadly, Kevin couldn't/wouldn't even look at her. He stood with his back mostly to her and barely mumbled a "hello." It was awkward, and I felt bad for him. I know he was just feeling completely weird because suddenly here's this girl, in the flesh, with whom he's been exchanging all these emails, plus his mom is standing right there. A.W.K.W.A.R.D.

I did have a conversation with Kevin over the weekend, after much thought and agonizing, in which I told him that although I respect his privacy, I think it would be a good idea for me to randomly check his email from time to time, just because I know he's at a delicate age, and I know things can be said in email that might not be said face to face, and it can all get very tricky, and although he's 13, it's still my job to look out for him. He was actually more receptive to this than I thought he would be. I thought he'd be pissed off that I might check his email from time to time, but he actually seemed okay with it. Maybe on some level he feels relieved? Maybe he knows that he might not be ready for all this electronic flirting? Or maybe I'm a fool. That could be.

Anyway, long story short, they've now progressed to talking on the phone. As of yesterday.

Who knows what's going to come of this. Summer break is right around the corner. Not sure what impact that will have. I'm anticipating some . . . developments, though.

Big, big sigh.

The other morning I was getting a pedicure, and as I sat there in the chair, I listened to all these moms around me talking about their kids' upcoming high school graduation ceremonies. And I swear, it was all I could do to hold back the tears. That's going to be us and Kevin in just a few short years. My god. And then what? Then we just turn him loose in the world and trust that he'll be okay? What if we haven't done our job as his parents properly and he's not ready?

It scares me.

Sometimes I would give anything - anything - to have him back in footie pajamas, when he trusted that I had all the answers and would always be able to keep him safe.