Sunday, February 22, 2009

Pet Peeves

And now, in a departure from all things cancer, Down syndrome, or even kids and family, allow me to bitch.

Do you know why I hate grocery shopping? Because the world is so full of rude people. It starts before I even enter the store. Some a-hole, hell bent on getting a primo parking spot, is so focused on her goal that anyone making their way across the parking lot on foot does so at great risk. And after this close to being run down, I'm throwing my arms up and gesturing wildly, yelling "Seriously?!? Seriously!?!?" And she has the cajones to shoot me dirty looks!

Then I enter the store and right away I'm confronted with idiocy and a complete absence of common sense in my fellow shoppers. I firmly believe that the rules of the road should apply in grocery stores:

~ Keep to your side of the aisle!
~ Don't leave your freaking cart in the middle of the aisle, blocking it so that I have no choice but to say "Excuse me," five times before I conclude that you're either (a) hard of hearing, or (b) ignoring me, which then leaves me no choice but to move your damn cart out of the way myself. Then you have the nerve to give me a surprised look. What the eff?
~ When leaving an aisle, remember that there is cross-traffic; proceed with caution! Don't just come careening out like a bat out of hell.
~ Just as it's rude and obnoxious to cut somebody off with your car and then drive very slowly in front of them, so too is it just as rude and obnoxious to do the same with your grocery cart.
~ Don't cut me off when I know you saw me heading for that checkout line first. I know you pretend you didn't see me, but you saw me all the same, and now you're on my shit list.

Come on, people! A little common sense! A little courtesy! Together, we can make everyone's shopping experience a little more pleasant.


Sarah said...

Amen to that!

Nicole O'Dell said...


Lisa B said...

This post is hilarious and I totally second it! Yesterday as I tried to park at the grocery a woman stopped walking to her car and stood in front of the open parking space I was obviously starting to turn into to light her cigarette and gave me the dirty look for giving her a look...Some days I feel so bad because I find myself thinking everyone I run into out there in the world is an a-hole - now I know I'm not the only one bugged by mankind at times!

The Beers Family said...

That is what goes through my head every time I shop - I have one thing to add - GET OFF THE PHONE! I really dont understand how so many people have to talk ALL THE TIME - Its RUDE!