Back to life

Back to reality.

Michael went back to work today. Tomorrow will mark three weeks since his surgery. Although he's been recuperating these last three weeks (and continues to do so), it's been nice having him around. It's been nice having his company, and his help with the kids. And he cooks! That's a definite bonus. The kids have really enjoyed having Dad here too, before and after school, helping with homework, going for walks, taking them out for ice cream (because lord knows Mom never splurges on ice cream in the middle of the day!).

But his return to work was inevitable. It's sort of a milestone, marking the final delineation between CANCER and AFTER CANCER. This is where life goes on. It's a good thing, by all means. Thank goodness he/we survived that horrible ordeal and lived to tell about it. Thank goodness he's able to go back to work.

But it's a little surreal, too. Just that, okay, phew, that's over with, now back to the rat race. If this were a movie, wouldn't this be the part where we realize we've been given a second chance, and we take stock of what really matters, and we make some momentous, life-altering statement? Isn't this the part where we ditch the house, pull the kids out of school and travel the country in an RV, and Michael pursues his lifelong dream of being a musician? I don't know. I mean, obviously that's not going to happen. There are bills to pay, responsibilities to uphold, cancer be damned.

But still, it's just a little . . . disheartening, I guess, knowing that we're just supposed to move forward, business as usual from here. And that people probably assume that it's all behind us, and the reality is that it has changed us forever - that experience, and the residual fear - and it will never be completely behind us.