Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Mom Phenomenon

Tell me if you recognize this:

I have become fetcher-of-all-things, giver-of-all-things, getter-of-all-things, fulfiller-of-all-requests, and answerer-of-all-questions to my kids. I'm serious. When any of my kids want something, I seem to be their go-to person, no matter how much closer in proximity they happen to be at any given time to Dad. It blows my mind.

Let me give a couple of true-life examples just to illustrate:

Recently, Daisy was sitting at the kitchen table, right next to Daddy. I was across the house in another room. Suddenly I hear, "Mommy! Can I have something to drink?" I ignored her, thinking, well, Michael is sitting right there (he was busy with something, but he was right there, literally inches away from her!). But she persisted. "Mommy! Can I have some juice?" Ignore. Then, "Mommy! I'm thirsty!" I think Michael had said to her, "Hang on a minute," but she ignored him, because apparently it is MY duty to serve her.

Today, just a little while ago, in fact, Kevin pulled a package of tortillas out of the kitchen cupboard. Michael was standing right next to him. Right next to him! I was across the room, feeding the baby. Kevin says, "Mom? Are these tortillas still good?"


This kind of thing happens all the time. Michael would argue my assertion that it happens all the time, but I've been pointing out these incidents to him, to which he responds with, "They love you! Doesn't it feel nice to be needed?" Um, sure. Right. I guess. Is that what it is? Huh.

And it's not as if Michael doesn't do stuff for the kids. He does! He cooks, he feeds them, he cleans up after them, he plays with them - it's not as if he's an absentee parent. So what is it about me that makes the kids lay their requests and demands at my feet first?


Lisa B said...

Yes completely get this all the time from my two - and while I try to say "it is probably because most of the time it is ME not daddy who gets things for them so they lapse into habit" but really? As you say, Larry can be right next to either of them and the request still comes to me. My latest to WTF moments: (1) driving to Mammoth with ME driving and Larry sitting shotgun and Matt consistently the WHOLE 6 hours driving put all requests for anything to be done for him to me - the one driving 70 MPH - I guess I was supposed to turn around and help him with his drink/food/homework??? and (2) last night, literally as Larry is walking out of the room after kissing Matty goodnight and I am still with Nate, Matt says "Mommy, when you are done cuddling Nate can you go tell Daddy to bring me some milk?" REALLY? I guess he figured at least he was asking me to ask daddy to do the work :)

Talley Images said...

start responding with "What did your dad say?" and they will get the message (plus it puts you both on the same page)... :)