Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Last night we ended up in the ER. Michael and I, that is (and Finn came along for the ride). Michael had a post-surgery setback. We were there until 2:00 a.m. On the upside, Alycia, our babysitter, has shown once again what a godsend she is. I called her a little before 11 p.m., knowing we had to go to the ER and not knowing what to do about a houseful of sleeping kids. She didn’t answer her phone, and I didn’t leave a message, but she must have checked her phone and saw that I had tried to call, because just a few minutes later, after I had awakened Kevin and told him that I had to take Dad to the ER and he was going to have to be in charge, Alycia called. No questions asked, she just said, “Do you need me? I’ll be right there.” I still cry when I think about it, how she just knows, and how she’s just there for us.

So we made the anxiety-filled drive to the ER, with Michael doubled over and moaning in pain, and we got there and it was standing room only. It was a freaking nightmare. First you have to wait your turn to fill out intake paperwork, then you have to wait your turn to be triaged, then you have to wait your turn to be seen. It was insane. We were told that there were some people there who had already been waiting for 3 hours. I made a stink and told then there was no way Michael could wait 3, or even 2, or even 1 hour to be seen. They ended up putting him in front of a lot of other people (sorry!), but we still ended up being there for close to 3 hours.

I feel so frustrated and discouraged. I think Michael and I both foolishly thought that by this time – 2+ weeks after surgery – he would be much more recuperated than he is. It’s been very difficult. I feel spread so thinly, and it feels like everyone in our house is being cheated in some way. Kevin has been helping out so much, and I feel bad about that. I feel bad that I haven’t done any fun summer activities with the kids, that so far, our summer has consisted of doctor appointments for Michael and therapy appointments for Finn. I’m finding myself asking for more and more help from Michael, which makes me feel bad too. Tomorrow is Joey’s birthday, and next week is Finn’s birthday, and I don’t have any plan for either, and I just feel like shit about it.

Is life ever going to be normal again?


Laurie said...

Everything OK with Michael, then?

Ah, Lisa. I sure hope that things settle down for you soon. You certainly have had quite the year, my friend. I know that I am reallllly far away, but if there is ever anything at all that you may need, please just say the word.

I'll be thinking of you all...


Keri said...

I hope Michael is doing better soon! Keeping you both in my thoughts.

Carla said...

How's Michael now? Joey & Finn will survive without huge blowout parties and there will be more summer activities next year. For now. focus on taking care of one another at a very stressful and tiring time. The kids will remember how you banded together as a family to provide strength. They won't remember how many times you took them to the pool or whether or not that one specific party was this way or that way. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

((HUGE HUGS))) Lisa

I hope Michael is feeling better this morning.
i am so glad that you have Alycia in times like this makes it a lot easier when you have a big family and an emergency.
As far as Summer and birthdays go....
I had Reegan's 4th and Javin's 7th within 16 days of each other. I had our Finn 7 days after Reegan's and 9 days before J's. Needless to say no big blowouts this year and I felt terribly guilty. We did presents choose your own dinner(anything they wanted) and cake. They both understood and were happy. Kevin and Joey are old enough to understand what's going on with Michael and the reason this Summer won't be exactly the same. The girls won't know the difference.
You guys are going through more stress than anyone should have to endure. I think the guilt we feel as mothers is always worse than how the kids actually feel about the situation,KWIM?
Thinking of you all...

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you. How is Michael?

JaybirdNWA said...

With everything you and your family have going on, it wouldn't be a bad idea to see if you can take some time off from Therapy. I'm praying for your family.