A new approach

Taking a cue from Joey's first grade teacher, who rewards the kids with "Buckaroo Bucks" for good behavior, which, when accumulated, can then be used to purchase items from the "class store" (i.e., a box filled with trinkets and stuff), I've decided to institute this same form of bribery reward system at home. My usual method is:



~ Ask them (okay, tell them) what they need to do (e.g., clean up their toys, etc.)
~ Whining usually ensues
~ I get aggravated, which results in raising my voice and repeating my request/order
~ More whining
~ Threats are then made
~ Children throw themselves on the floor in utter misery as if they live in a chamber of torture
~ Yelling from me
~ Crying from them
~ More threats
~ Full blown tantrum



(And people have this silly idea that my kids are perfect. Haaa!)



Anyway, you see the pattern. It takes a lot of energy and time, and frankly, it just doesn't work.



Let me say, too, that on principal, I am not a fan of this whole reward system. I believe that kids should do what they're told - should do what they're supposed to do, just because. I really don't think that being cooperative or cleaning up one's mess without a fight should earn anyone a prize - it's just the way it's supposed to be. That said, I see that that only works in a perfect world, in which I and my family do not live. So I'm resorting to this:

I made this up on the trusty computer today, printed off about 20 of them and went to the 99 cent store and bought a bunch of crap small toys to use as rewards. I placed all the junk rewards in a "treasure box" and told the kids (actually just Joey and the twins since they're the ones who need this motivation and Lilah's too young to get it and Kevin is too old, obviously) that they can earn ONE Good Kid Buck for each good deed, act of cooperation, etc., and when they have 5 bucks, they can buy something from the Treasure Box. It may just be a novelty right now, but today it worked like a charm.

Stay tuned.

A Milestone

Today Joey lost his first baby tooth! You may recall that I posted three months ago that that sucker was loose. It's taken this long for it to finally come out. The thing is, his two bottom adult teeth are coming in already - behind the baby teeth, and the baby teeth haven't been budging. As he has a cleaning scheduled with the dentist in a couple of weeks, they told me to have him really work on those two bottom loose teeth - otherwise they'd have to extract them. So I told him today that he needed to work on those teeth, really wiggle them so they would come out before his dentist appointment in a couple weeks. Well, tell this boy to do something, and BAM, it's done! (I kid. Usually it's not so easy to get him to do something . . . especially if it will involve blood - the kid is squeamish.) Within 10 minutes of my telling him to work on those teeth, he had one out:

One down, one to go. So tonight will be the first time the Tooth Fairy has visited our home in a looooong time!

Here's the latest

In the midst of all the daily this-and-that, there is still the fact that my husband is battling cancer. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this. His PICC line and fanny pack have become such fixtures already that they sort of blend into the background. He seems to (and says that he does) feel fine. He goes to work every day. He plays his guitar whenever an opportunity presents itself, as usual, and he goes to jam with his buddies on Tuesday nights. He plays with the kids and brushes teeth and reads bedtime stories. So it's easy to forget that he's sick, with a very grave illness. And I have to admit that I have entered something of a comfort zone with this whole thing . . . the doctors have made me believe that he's going to pull through this, and so I just believe he will. And sometimes I stop myself and wonder, "Am I not taking this seriously enough? Am I tempting fate by not letting this weigh me down, weigh my family down?" And that scares me . . . a little. Am I being foolish? I don't know.

~~~

Michael has now finished up his second full week of chemo and radiation. There is no way to know, at this point, how the cancer is being affected by the treatment. He will have another MRI several more weeks down the line, but in the meantime, we just have to have faith. Although I can't go with him to his daily radiation appointments, I am conscious every morning of his being there during that window of time, and from afar I like to visualize: "Take that, you fucker," to the cancer in his body.

Yesterday after radiation he had his weekly appointment at the oncologist's office where they draw blood to check his platelet count and other things (everything looks good), refill the pouch that holds his chemo meds, and change the dressing on the PICC line. Everything went well yesterday, but somehow, by last night when he came home from work, the entry site for the PICC line was looking pretty red and irritated, so he went back to the oncologist's office this morning after radiation and sure enough, it's infected. Which is a big concern. So now he's been prescribed antibiotics for that.

The projected timeline is as follows (and this is not set in stone):

~ Approximately 4 more weeks of chemo and radiation

~ A "break" of 4 weeks with no chemo or radiation (however, the PICC line will remain in his arm for later use)

~ During the last week of that 4-week break, around the end of April, he will have an MRI

~ This will be followed by a 4-week treatment cycle of a different type of chemo

~ Another 4-week break

~ Surgery at the end of June

~ Post-surgery chemo for 5ish months

So, clearly, Michael will not be finished with treatment until somewhere towards the end of the year. He has to live with that PICC line in his arm through the spring, through the summer, through the fall. A small price to pay for his wellness, but still a bummer. In a way, I'm already seeing this as the "lost year." Which is pretty negative and not the best way to be looking at things. However, I guess in that sense, I'm trying to view it as a finite period, with a beginning and and ending, and at the end, my husband will be well again.

~~~

In other news, we finally got the $$ from the insurance company to begin repairs to our downstairs from the flood damage. Yesterday the contractors came and repaired all the drywall; right now, as I sit here typing, they are downstairs painting. Next week the new carpet and linoleum will be installed, as well as a new bathroom vanity. I will be so glad to have all that done with and have the downstairs usable again.

Gotcha!

I can't believe all the messages I got about my post yesterday . . . from fools (like you?) who fell for my little gag! No worries, all is well on the marriage front :) It's nice to know how many of you would come (even if it meant hopping on a plane!) and kick butt on my behalf if the need ever arose :D

Cheating SOB

You think you know a person. You think after almost 8 years of marriage that you can trust the person you exchanged vows with. I've stuck with Michael through thick and thin - and believe me, it hasn't always been a rose garden. But nonetheless, I've been a loyal and devoted wife. I thought he was loyal and devoted to me as well, but apparently I've been wrong. And to make matters worse - to pour salt in the wound! - he's been two-timing me right in my own home! With the kids here!!

I caught him red-handed. And it's clear, as you can plainly see, that this is no fling. There are real feelings involved here.

I'm crushed.

More Blog Love

Okay, I have a confession: I get an incredible amount of emotional satisfaction from blog love :) The latest love sent my way comes from Kristin at The Way It Is, who is her very own self a wonderful mama and blogger.

The awards:

The rules:

1) Admit that ONE thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a good mom!

Honestly, it's not just one thing . . . it's an ongoing thing. And that is that I'm too short on patience and temper with my kids :( It's a daily struggle, and something that causes me a lot of inner turmoil and guilt.

2) To remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list SEVEN things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself of EVERY DAY that you rock!

~ I have magical super powers in my hugs and the kisses I leave on owchies.

~ I love doing my girls' hair and painting their toenails.

~ My kids think I'm funny. In fact, Kevin thinks I'm "the larriest" (which is how he used to say "hilarious" when he was little).

~ We eat dinner together as a family sitting down in the dining room - no TV allowed - just about every night. That's something that is very important to me and I think it's a dynamic that makes us a closer family.

~ I have exclusively breast fed all of my babies. It's a gift I give to them that gives back to me, and it's something I feel very good about.

~ I love watching how much my kids love one another. Yes, they bicker and fight and drive each other nuts a lot of the time, but underneath it all, there is a deep love and affection for one another that shines through. When I see those moments, it makes everything else worth it.

~ My kids are very compassionate towards other kids. I am very proud of them for that.

3)Send this to FIVE other Moms of the Year that deserve forgiveness and a reminder that they, too, are the best moms they can be!!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you've selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you!"5 mommy bloggers who deserve the mom of the year award:

~ Carla of I Used to Love to Write (okay, her blog is private, but truly, she deserves this award, so I'm including her)

~ Jill of The Shafer Family

~ Leigh Anne of It's Blissful Thinking

~ Meloney of Who Are All These Girls, And Why Are They Calling Me Mom???

~ Liz of Eternal Lizdom

Separated at birth?

Michael actually pointed out the resemblance . . . I think he's onto something. Whaddya think?

Check out the new photos of the fam in my sidebar too :)