- Impatience (as in wanting/expecting the child to just stop the habit NOW)
- Blaming (as in assuming the pulling is completely within the child's control and that they should just therefore stop doing it)
- Policing (as in inspecting the child's hair regularly to monitor hair loss/hair growth)
- Too much focus on hair/trich (as in allowing the child's hair-pulling to become the focus of the majority of interactions with the child rather than devoting attention to other issues, as well as all of the child's attributes, talents, and achievements)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
1 : containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation
I am often asked about my family by casual acquaintances. I think people tend to assume that having a lot of kids myself, I must come from a close family, and that that family must play a large part in the family I've created. I hate the questions. I hate having to explain that I do not have a relationship with anyone in the family into which I was born. In some ways it's easier to talk about my dad. "He died eleven years ago." People understand this. But explaining estrangements, that's a lot tougher. It goes against everything society wants family to live up to.
What kind of mother emotionally strangles her child and then blames that child for acting out?
What kind of mother apologizes while pointing her finger and demanding that her child accept accountability for "contributing to the chaos" of that child's formative years?
What kind of mother involves herself in the emotional and legal upheaval of a marriage that has imploded, taking the side of her daughter's abusive spouse? What kind of mother believes the stories fed to her by an alcoholic, drug addicted, wife-beating, lying son-in-law without giving her daughter any benefit of the doubt, without making one iota of effort to seek out her daughter's side of the story?
What kind of mother sends her daughter a six-page, single-spaced, type-written litany of her daughter's childhood offenses and crimes - a letter containing some truth, a lot of twisting, many glaringly omitted facts, a lot of inaccuracies and outright lies? A diatribe of that daughter's wicked nature, deplorable character, and general unworthiness. And what is the point of such a letter? What does that mother hope to accomplish with it? What kind of mother is still in the business of tearing down rather than building up?
This is what I come from. I will not be a slave to my roots. There are some people who are so toxic that cutting all ties is the healthiest, most positive step that can be taken in the endeavor to rise above it.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Once upon a time, there was a little princess who was three years old. Let's call her Princess Lulah. She lived with her brothers and sisters, her daddy, The King, and her mommy, the Mean Queen, whom we'll call Moi.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
But a few days ago, I discovered that she's still pulling despite the tape. I thought that wrapping her hair around her index finger was at least partly a sensory thing for her, that she got some sensory charge out of the feel of her hair on her finger, and thus I've always assumed that taping her finger would stop her from doing it. And in fact, it did seem to at least help for a while when I was taping her pulling and sucking fingers before - her hair grew longer than it's probably ever been. But for some reason, now, the tape isn't stopping the pulling. Very calmly, I asked her to show me how she's pulling her hair even with the tape on, so she did.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Okay, I know. The white gravel looks like snow. Or something. The kids informed me of this, as did Michael. I had this vision in my head beforehand, and it didn't come out looking exactly like I had hoped. But I'm hoping that once the border flowers fill in, it will be a nicer overall effect.
We got impatiens -
I'm hoping everything will look better once it starts filling in some (of course it will, right?).
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
- I really, really love nursing my babies. It's been a loving, joyful experience with each of them.
- Finn is not yet drinking from a cup, so nursing is a way to ensure his fluid intake and guarantee superior nutritional content.
- I'm scared to see what's going to be left of my boobs after 8 1/2 years of continuous pregnancy and/or nursing!
- It might actually be nice to have my body back to myself after 8 1/2 years.
- It would make it easier for Michael and I to go away, sans kids, like we've talked about since he finished cancer treatment.
- Stopping nursing might actually trigger my body to let go of these last few pounds of baby weight.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Daisy and Annabelle were 7 months old . . . look at those little babes! And check out the cleavage, courtesy of nursing twins!